The Simple Woman's Daybook - 6

For today...Thursday, 06.11.08

Outside my Window...it is a gray morning, but not too cold. I was starting to enjoy the chilliness and the fog. We had some very beautiful autumn days recently, with golden leaves falling and shreds of mist hanging in and above the woods on the hills. And the typical spicy autumn smell of burning woodfire, damp leaves, wood and soil in the air.

I am thinking...that we have gone through some hard times and I have, yet, learned again a lot during that time. I am so quick in neglecting my own well-being, overdoing things, not giving myself enough rest, not being 'selfish' enough. What can I offer to my children when my own cup is empty, so to say. I really have to keep an eye on that!

I am thankful for...having found out that I can do ALL of the things I am interested in, even though they seem too much. It needs some good organizing and it can really work. And no, I am not one of those people who have one great passion in their life that they really go for and become an expert at. I have passions in all different directions and am intrigued by so many things. I used to think I am not normal and can't be good at anything and I could never decide for that ONE thing I should learn about or become great at or that ONE job that would be fulfulling for the rest of my life. I am NOT like that. My brain is designed for different things at the same time, and looking back at it, I was already like that as a child. What a long way I have gone to realise that this is a real gift that I can truely work at and use!
I have sort of realized this in the past - let's say during the last few years - but was still very unsure about it. It confused me that one week I would love literature and got really stuck into it, the next there was nothing better than music, then all of a sudden I couldn't think about anything but writing or learning Spanish or English or French. Now I know that ALL of these things are important to me. They aren't just moods I get into...because they keep coming back to me, and are real urges. No wonder I was going in circles for years...
Sorry, must be difficul to understand, when you are not in that shoe. ;-)

From the kitchen...We made some lovely Muffins lately, and today I will bake some biscuits because Lisa is having a friend over. I still need to do all the paint work. :-(

I am wearing...beige corduroy trousers and a dusky pink woolen jumper, besides that I am barefeet. :-D

I am reading...with the kids: Wirru das Wildpferd, and some other books for myself.

I am hoping...to fast regularly one day a week. I did it yesterday and it did me a lot of good. It gives me a lot of energy and stops me from eating without thinking and enjoying. (I tend to do that when I have stress...)

I am hearing...Jamie playing with his tractors. Nothing else right now.

One of my favorite things...pumpkin-soup, marzipan, falling leaves, foggy fields, jumble sales, ...

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...not too much planned, and yet, my list is full! ;-) I want to start sewing some dresses for the girls. I am waiting for the fabric to arrive.


A picture I'd like to share with you...

...horses riding through the snow. ;-)

Stürmische Zeiten

Nur ein kleines Up-date:
Ich nehme mein Posting über den Month of simple living erstmal wieder raus. Manchmal kommen Dinge dazwischen, die erstmal wichtiger sind, als das Bloggen, und so werde ich wieder einfach nur spontan kleine Postings reinsetzen, wenn ich Zeit und Inspiration dazu habe.
Ich muss jetzt darauf achten, dass ich mich nicht übernehme und gut auf mich selber achte. Allzu schnell gerate ich in eine Schleife des 'zu viel auf einmal-wollens' und es endet damit, dass es mir nicht gut geht, und ich keine Energie und Geduld mehr für die Kinder habe.
Und gerade die brauchen mich zur Zeit verstärkt.
Amelie geht gerade durch eine anstrengende Entwicklungsphase - ist praktisch über Nacht windelfrei geworden, einfach so, ist willensstark und gleichzeitig verunsichert (was in viel Gebrüll endet), spricht unwahrscheinlich viel und gut und braucht ganz viel Mama (und Brust ;-) )
Oft wacht sie 3-4 mal die Nacht auf, wütend, schreiend. Dadurch werden auch die anderen beiden gestört. Und ich bin angespannt und habe weniger Geduld, bin nicht mehr so verlässlich für die Großen.
Dadurch sind die beiden auch anhänglicher geworden, wollen ständig auf/in den Arm, auf den Schoß, meine Nähe - und Amelie schreit und protestiert.
Schwierig, da ein Mittelmaß für alle zu finden.
Aber es ist schon wieder etwas besser geworden. Nur ich selber hätte mal eine Auszeit gebraucht...die leider nicht möglich war.
Nunja. Gestern und Vorgestern konnte Lisa den Nachmittag bei einer Freundin verbringen, und das hat mir sehr geholfen.
Ich glaube, es geht jetzt wieder aufwärts.
In den letzten Tagen hatte ich endlich wieder Motivation zu schreiben und zu üben, und zu lesen und so weiter. Und dabei kann ich dann auch wieder auftanken.