Songbirds ... a family blogs!

Songbirds ... a family blogs!

Donnerstag, 22. Juli 2010

Trust


My beautiful little daughter is what you would call 'a very poor eater'. She doesn't touch fruit and she dosn't touch vegetables. All she likes is bread, potatoes, pasta and meat/fish.
There were times when I was seriously worried about her.
I thought I have to bribe her into eating, a friend of mine was advising me to 'teach' her to eat (something that actually several people recommended) and I tried.
I tried everything I could to make her eat those things.
And do you know what happened? She got very angry. In fact she got so angry with me that every time I mentioned 'she should really try some fruit/veg' she stomped out of the kitchen and ate nothing - not even those things she usually likes.

I sat down and reflected about what happened. My friend told me about the beautiful result she had achieved by 'teaching' her daughter to eat by being persistent and consistent. Did I lack the ability that she had? Am I too loose? Do I give in too quickly?
Deep inside I was feeling that all I lacked in this situation was TRUST.
I mean - in all areas of our family life I trust my children that they know what they need and know what to learn and know how to do what they need to do.
The whole idea of unschooling can only exist when we trust our children!
I trusted them since they were newborns that they were able to communicate their needs and wants and that they would always receive what they required to fully develop if I was attentively responding to their communication.

Well then.
I decided that I had to let go of the idea that Amelie had to eat certain things and I stopped pondering about the 'how' of getting her where I wanted to have her.
I felt deeply that I really want to be able to trust her with this part of her life, too, because I actually don't want to teach her how to eat this or that!
It feels so wrong!

Now, all this happened quite a few weeks ago. I let go of the situation, restored my trust and made sure there was always something in our food that she likes (which is not that difficult to include potatoes or pasta in a meal ;-))
And then...two days ago something interesting happened:
Amelie was asking me for some melon!
I gave her some - thinking that she was joking. But no, she ate it. :-D
At dinner time she was picking her potatoes out of the stew and then proclaimed 'I love carrots!' And she did eat them.
Yesterday she wanted a plate with banana slices and after she finished them she was asking for more...!

I still can't believe it.
And I am taking myself back not to show her my amazement or happiness and surprise about her change - because it might put her off again.
I am glad I could trust her. It is not always easy to give up control and place it in another ones hand. But it is worth it!

Kommentare:

  1. Oh ja, das kenne ich, aber loslassen und vertrauen haben rentiert sich immer. Bei mir kommt ja noch hinzu, dass ich ein "idler" bin und deshalb um manches nicht viel aufhebens mache. Wird schon werden, ist noch keiner freiwillig verhungert. Toll, dass Deine Erfahrung auch so positiv war. (Heb Dir diese Erfahrung gut auf, Du wirst sie in der 'Pubertät' ncoh häufig gebrauchen können :-) )

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  2. Ja, die Pubertät. :-) Manchmal freue ich mich drauf...manchmal schaue ich diesem Abschnitt mit einem gewissen 'Horror' entgegen. *lach*
    Aber auch da ist sicher Vertrauen das Zauberwort (oder vielelicht eins von mehreren).
    Vielleicht hab ich jetzt die Gelegegenheit ganz viel zu üben, so dass ich später dann vollkommen gelassen bin. *hoff* :-)

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